Toxtricity. It has, since then, become more frequent during the day and, now, I have much more phlegm (I've been smoking for over 20 years now). Super hot. You have a good mother, she understands you and will support you if you smoke regularly. After we got married, I thought it would be nice if he could share smokes with me, so I started coaxing him to try it. We worked together a short time at a marketing place and could smoke on the job so she was puffing away at work which she loved. I smoke when I'm bored. He said "No, but I never meant for you to do something you'd regret" I told you just made me curious I did the rest on my own, I'm starting love it, I know I'm getting addicted and I don't even care. I was like woh, wow you look Hot ! I've been working a lot, got a biker bf (who supports my smoking), traveling, and I continue to smoke of course. I would really like to chat with you, about our feelings and our journey into addiction at such a young age. We are sitting at an outdoor bar drinking and she says "I finally got the hang of the smoking, wanna see ?". Hope he dies slow and first. I started smoking at 15, sneaking cigarettes from them when they weren't looking. And it was just getting worse and worse. I promissed myself to become such a beautifull woman. I did too. I wasn't alone, and as the youngest of five, all of my brothers and sisters picked it up. I was with a guy who liked smoking girls. I would finally feel like I could sit down next to my husband or son for awhile and be alright. Its not even that he likes to watch me smoke, we get turned on by the thought of me wanting to harm myself. We started going out and just clicked. But there is truth. I smoke when I work. I am happy that I started smoking and that, despite the propoganda, I sill do. Dolly Faibyshev for The New York Times. Like one sweet young woman I saw come out on her break and immediately she starts puffing away on this long strong cigarette and blowing these huge exhales of thick rich cigarette smoke. I've even smoked 2 cigarettes at the same time so I can have one in my mouth and one in my hand at the same time. Me 23F and my bf 24M both have a smoking fetish, we love to fuck and smoke, I find it so hot, Me 23F and my bf 24M both have a smoking fetish, we love to fuck and smoke, I find it so hot . But my family would disown me.. Did your voice become deeper and huskier since you started smoking? My girlfriend is 36, I am 55. Nicole Kidman reveals she started smoking to fully transform into the character of Lucille Ball | Daily Mail Online Nicole Kidman, 54, reveals she started smoking to transform into actress. She got hooked fell in love with smoking and was taking bigger and bigger puffs and smoking more and more cigarettes every day turning into a full blown chimney. ASSHOLE, Still doing around a pack and a half. It was never about peer pressure for me, from a young age I was curious about smoking and thought people who smoked were obtaining a sensual pleasure that was alluring to me. "It's bad enough that I started smoking again during a pandemic. I started smoking cannabis to . How different is the taste of a cigarette from when you first started? Then, 9 months ago, he told me he had a smoking fetish. I know a girl who also moved in with her aunty who smoked Marlboro full flavor 100s. Most every thought that centered around moving next year involved a scene with me and his parents outside on the deck smoking together. How is it like to get your nicotine fix while being given the utmost pleasure by your boyfrfiend? How do ther smokers feel about beings a smoker? I know, it's addictive. My mom, sister, and I moved to the east coast from California, and I started smoking a couple of months after that. I was scared at first but when she explained she knew for a while. Did your personality become more confident, more arrogant, more haughty ever since, or is it the opposite, with feelings of shame subduing your ego? Thanks for being there and letting me reach out.~Kay~. Today is my fifth smoke-free day. though which is good. Did he ever ask you to "smoke sexily"? I could smoke three more before they get home My smoking has created a huge gap that my husband isn't even aware of. You tell me "I got these for you, My parents got divorced when I was 15. So, before I'd go in the house, I'd go to the garden (if I wasn't already there) and pick rosemary, basil, or any pungent herb. A link that will let you reset your password has been emailed to you. And I kept doing it. That is what I have and that is what keeps me going.Thanks for letting me share my terrible secrets with you. My life is sooo ******* sad, ask me anything. And a couple of months later, when he tentatively asked if I would be willing to light a cigarette, I said yes, that I would keep it lit as long as he gave me head. He was so sweet and never tried to change or judge me like my ex did. If you don't, I don't blame you! I am now 31. I feel like I am waking up out of some kind of fog. But my family would disown me. Well, how long can you last without having your first cravings? Faiz Azfar, 18, a New York University student who rolls his own cigarettes, in Washington Square Park. We've know each other for quite a while but only just started dating about 6 months ago. Disgusting. It is only right that I help feed her fetishes tpo Smile for the mirror as you smoke. It becomes so ingrained in the lives of those who smoke, that people come to believe they can't live without it. However, this is simply preposterous because stupidity doesn't choose a gender and women love playing with their health as much as men do. She is young, pretty and so sexy. They specialize in catching cheating spouses by hacking their phone to monitor all their communications such as calls, email, text social networks like Facebook, twitter, dating sites and many more. Everytime I smell a cigarette I want to start smoking again so badly, Meat eaters disgust me. Do you chain smoke beforehand just to have a supply of nicotine? I would rub them on my fingers and chew on one. The next morning before going to the airport and after breakfast i asked her if she would like one more before we departed.to my glee she said yes but that would be that, no more after. She was wearing all the clothes I liked, and basically playing right up to me. I smoke when I'm full. A trained counselor can help you stop smoking or stay on track. She was so addicted that she ducked outside to smoke throughout the day, even during Wisconsin's bitter cold winters. I chain smoke Winfield reds at every opportunity. Give her 20 minutes and it wears off, she becomes completely broken anxious nervous and irritable where the only thing to fix her is to once again pop a ciggie poo in her face latch on suck like a vacum then blow smoke like the wind cause her cigarettes are her best friend. If you do not receive your email shortly, please check your spam folder. About 6 months later we had a fight and she told me she really just wanted to smoke. Me, genuinely, not liking those cigarellos, opened up a window for her which i'm so happy happened. and our KILL URSELF I am just beginning to realize what life with me must have been like for my family --constantly distracted, spending most of my time scurrying around, making sure they are settled, catering to their every whim because if they are involved in something else, I could go outside, thinking thatsurely they wouldn't look for me if their every need was met? The best one was the last. Needless to say, they moved in together and are both smoking 5 years later. Was it because of your boyfriend? I started dropping hints about it. I will rise above the smoke. It took me about 3-1/2 years before I noticed myself coughing in the morning when I awoke. I quit smoking a year ago and think about it every day and want to start again but wont but would love to. I am 42M and she is 23F. I was so naive that I had never heard of it. I love having my girl sexually smoke for me. Over time, smoking crept into every corner of her life. Never really considered myself a smoker for a very long time, just as someone who happened to smoke sometimes. Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. While numerous cross-sectional studies of adolescents have identified correlates of smoking initiation, much less prospective, longitudinal research has been conducted with young children to gather their accounts of early experiences of smoking, and this study fills that . For the last few years, I spent all the energy I had planning my smoking around my husband. What would you do if you suddenly acquired 40,000 worth of savings? Since I have had so much time alone, I have had a lot to think about. I haven't stopped crying since walking out on him and keep feeling like I have made a big mistake, but my opinion will not change, I do not want him to smoke. It was after-hours and I listened to every available bit of information they could provide on their answering machine. I do this every time I travel for work. I have pooh-poohed travel ideas because I knew we would be together too much for me to smoke successfully and keep it hidden. He said he would stop smoking at weekends, anyway the first weekend he was supposed to have quit, he gave in and had a cigarette, I flipped out and said if you can't even manage one night (the first night as well) what chance have you got of staying smoke free for the weekends to come?! After eight years of smoking, I'm 25 now, the weight of my addiction felt enormous and stifling. By submitting the form, you acknowledged that you are or over 18 years old and you will follow local policies and laws. 3 Comments The Past Six Months Or So For those of you who follow this blog, I'm sorry I haven't been updating it. I was fascinated by plants and trees as medicine for the body and soul. What the fuck is wrong with you stupid cunts that bring these old post back to life again?. Why not. I can really identify with your story since I also wanted to be a smoker from an early age. Think : "I'm a sexy smoker". You now smell like shit and have the habit of a crack whore. it all started off as a joke with a few friends at a party until we all decided we actually wanted to try it - before this i had only ever vaped with no nicotine. I called 1-800-no-butts. I have always been fascinated by nature. I would deliberately get up before him in the morning and go to bed after him in the evening just so I could smoke. Thinking of your relationship with smoking as a toxic relationship can help you see just how manipulative nicotine isit plays tricks on the body and mind, convincing us that we need it to feel pleasure. Want to read confessions and comments uncensored? @youlovemil. I asked my son for help. Yes I like also coffe! What were the biggest changes as you became a full time smoker, and began smoking in public? She has more than likely died from smoking or Covid by now. I liked it when she inhaled deep the smoke of her cigaret. When did you first realize it was a fetish that you had developed? Single. I asked my sister for help. Then he said "I hope you didn't start smoking" I said "would it bother you?" September 15, 2014. It was a nice garden next to the street where people were walking. Have you ever noticed the tiny holes around the filter of your cigarette? How do you prepare? She was having terrible luck with dating in her own age group and during Covid just gave up and said "Fuck everything" She started drinking and got chubby, soft and out of shape. Hi I have stopped smoking 100 days ago and I have to say I regret it, I love smoking, but lets start at the beginning how I became a smoker.I started relativly late 8 years ago when I was 30. Outside of our adventures ahe rarely smokes Now, I'm smoking inside." Milo Martin, a poet in Los Angeles, offered fewer excuses. After months of no success, he finally relented. He likes to smoke now too. I live in a self-imposed prison. Stop Smoking. Smoking in secret is a behavior that creates pain and loneliness for the smoker. It was from that point that I took the view that I could not standsmoking. With love. I think I was just curious. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Make a podcast, YouTube or TikTok videos about our confessions and we'll promote your content, free! I make sure to tell her every time. He bought me a pack of Marlboros the next day, and that night we tried it. Sometimes she does it while blowing me, riding me, and other times I do it from behind slowly and pause while she inhales and exhales. Or was it gradually getting addicted that pulled you into the deep? I love and support her so leaving her was not a thought until a few days ago when she started smoking cigarettes in our bathroom, she told me she can't sh*t now unless she is smoking, my house stinks, my clothes stink, quite frankly my f*cking children smell like cigarettes after she touches them. Even after nearly 40 years as a pack a day smoker, it still tastes and feels so great. Smoking together on a place where people could see us. What do you have to get used to? Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. I'll smoke anytime and anywhere. What surprised you? She ate up the attention and I saw the window open, telling her she should get them longer and either the same polish or, yes, red, and that I'd even pay for them. My boyfriend awoke to the smell of me smoking that cigarette and had an instant hard-on. Utterly selfish and devoted to my addiction. It just feels awesome! I wish cigarettes had never been invented as they cause so many problems for millions of people. How did you go from just enjoying your first inhales and dizzy sensation to craving it and needing a smoke every hour? This is the fifth day since I quit. Then, when the coast was clear, I'd come into the house and make a beeline for the bathroom for a frantic session of tooth brushing, mouthwash, and hand/face scrubbing. Especially when you have to have one within 10 minutes of waking Forget having toned abs, you won't be able to exercise. I enjoyed watching people smoke in old noir filmsdetectives in fedoras and glamorous actresses in sparkling. ", takes big drink and hits the cigarette pretty hard and says, "I'm fine with this", I hate it when people say that someone who smokes smells like an ashtray. When smoking cessation commercials came on TV, I became the most talkative person in the room, desperately trying to prevent someone from commenting on how bad smoking is. I had this fetish before I was with my bf and was very nervous to tell him. My story is the same. I smoke about a pack a day now. Electric smoke pots are actually offered at small cost. She likes to dress sexy, and just have a casual smoke, exhaling the smoke slowly. I don't want to hide any longer. Nice storyits a pleasure to be able to guide someone to the pleasures of becoming a smoker. Do other men notice you more easily whenever you light up? A friend suggestedmaking a quit date. 69625 views | As time passed, I was frequently getting my husband sloshed and giving myself permission to smoke almost an entire pack in the 2 hours it took my husband to pass out. I started out with one a day, then it went to 2 and now 4-5 a day, I love smoking so much. It is so sexy. Yes its unhealthy but the euphoria I get from smoking and knowing the damage its causing is unexplainable. In 15 minutes?" If you had told me what I was doing, I would have thought you were crazy! Sooo have you went on flights ever since you started smoking? But I really didn't want to. (Might have been 6.) I've always had a thing watching women smoke cigarettes and was so happy to meet a girl, my future wife, who smoked to. I smoke when I'm sad, stressed or anxious. ha ha), but now I see it for what it really was - a way to prevent him from having an opinion about it. Hiding Behind Smoking, in One Way or Another, The Never-Ending Cycle of Nicotine Addiction, Pathological Demand Avoidance in Autism and Beyond, The Layered Trauma of Losing My Adoptive Mother, Mental Health Impact of Straddling a Dual Identity as an Asian American, Depression Is an Ongoing BattleHere's What I've Learned, Wayne Brady Reveals His Inner Battles Behind the Curtain, Why I'm Opting for a No-Gift Christmas ThisYear, Navigating the Fentanyl Crisis as a Young Person, Whats It Like to be Diagnosed With Autism as an Adult? If you do not receive your email shortly, please check your spam folder. So someone offered me a cigarette saying it might help it go along. I like to suck the cigarette with moist lips so the long cork filter slides across my lips as I saturate my lungs in smoke. And that's what I thought I was. Even though I want it every time now, I know its good to only do it a few times a week. How did you start smoking? She tried her aunty's cigarettes and turned into a smoker. Tobacco, Mon Amour. Whenever you need our company, we are on call. Copyright 20052023 ConfessionPost.com. I want to be able to hang out with my non-smoking friends, I want to look forward to traveling and spending time with my husband. I love being a smoker. In fact, I love smoking more than I love people. It made me sooooo dizzy. Could you describe us the first time you felt like you "needed" a cigarette? But after a couple of days of asking questions and googling, I was less bothered. I thought smoking away from my hubby was a sacrifice I was making (see how nice I am? Mar 1. At one point, everyone in the house smoked. . Official Oxford 2023 Postgraduate Applicants Thread, Official University of Warwick 2023 Applicant Thread, Dentistry 2023 Entry - Reapplicants' Thread, Some Tips for Students That Increase Learning Power, Official LSE Undergraduate Applicants thread 2023, Official: University of Sheffield A100 2023 entry, Queen's University Belfast (QUB) Applicants Thread 2023, Official LSE Postgraduate Applicants 2023 Thread, Grant Thornton School Leaver 2023 entry x, Official: Barts and the London (QMUL) A100 2023 Entry Applicant and Offer Holders, Official University of Edinburgh 2023 Applicant Thread, I've been single for years, approached girls a lot but still don't get any. Now I realize that my addict-self is selfish and is motivated only by cigarettes. "I love smoking". "I love smoking cigarettes. I noticed that, slowly, as time went on, I was pouring more and more drinks at home - one weak drink for me that I would sip on all night and one or more strong drinks for him. And they weren't there. I'm too in love with cigarettes to quit. After months of no success, he finally relented. You should do it too." You should start smokingit is great, and I'll I did for nine years, but quit five years ago (before I . I hope this is helpful to anyone struggling with anxiety or who is thinking about starting a bad habit. Currently living on my own in a hotel for work. So what is the French Paradox? To be honest I'm lazy and have always struggled a little bit with my weight. My girlfriend smokes about 30 cigarettes a day and although I'm not a smoker, I love the smell of the smoke on her hair and her clothes and her breath - it's a real turn on. Obviously I wasn't. I started smoking because I had started smoking another more illicit substance. Even she can hardly believe she's turned into such a heavy smoker in such a short time, she's a thousand times more hooked and in love with cigarettes than she ever thought was possible, she thrives on heavy smoking and can imagine it any other way, and now it's time for a cigarette! they will surely be of help. (I've been smoking secretly for a while so want to know what's in store if I commit fully). Not. Perhaps it was.I quit smoking on June 12. It was horrible. She also got a really fun loving, who gives a fuck attitude. I had been keeping the habit a secret from most of my family. I do not smoke myself I try to stay in good shape I've been working a lot, got a biker bf (who supports my smoking), traveling, and I continue to smoke of course. I love being a smoker and cant ever see that changing. When I light up, I always feel calm and secure with my ever dependable cigarette. I asked everyone I could think of for advice. He's gained weight and doesn't cycle much these days either. I am smoking for longer than 25 years now I started at about 18 and never managed to stop though I know how bad it is especially regarding my health and that is why I always hoped my daughter won't have the same problem but I have mistaken for my daughter started smoking and she is only 16 and refuses to stop smoking. I've thought how could anyone love smoking cigarettes (Marlboro full flavor 100s) more than me. Once you've been out with a girl who smokes, if you go with a girl who doesn't smoke, it's like there's something seriously missing., I too love the aroma of a woman who smokes. I would go into the woods near my home, or occasionally "bravely" have one in the house if. I've haven't done that for a long time. When I was about 15 my mom cought me . At the age of 11, you never think you're going to end up addicted, or how smoking is going to damage your life. What the fuck is wrong with you stupid cunts that bring these old post back to life again?. A. I can remember playing like I was smoking a cigarette. Covid does not exist, it's just the flu being called by a different name. About 15 months ago, I started seeing a new guy. My mom smoked and at about 13 I started thinking about smoking .my mom was a single mother and she worked afternoon shift a lot and she would leave her circle out so one day I finally got the nerve to try one . I realize now that my reasons for smoking at that age have twisted themselves into reasons why I was still smoking 16 years later. I would feel relieved when my husband and son would go on an outing without me (at my insistence), just so I could smoke "in peace". My name is Karen, but my friends call me Kay. Is it true that smokers cannot concentrate if they do not have enough nicotine? She will give me a blow job blowing smoke, He tried to ignore them but I could see he was really turned on. Karen's story will resonate with anyone who has struggled to hide their smoking. I took the post down, I just felt a bit weird about the whole thing. I decided to quit smoking. She will smoke when I am on top of her My husband is a nonsmoker and when we met, I had quit for a little over one year after smoking for years.