We only have sex if were ready to be a father? But hes no knight in shining armor because he is willing to bare some legally minimal level of responsibility. are you creating multiple accounts to like your own comments? Im arguing that he should be able to get out of the responsibility in the same way that a woman can get out of that responsibility. Now I also believe that the LW is exposing herself to STDs not this guy, because she knows that he had unprotected sex with another women, and she still chooses to be with him either way. And water. April 10, 2012, 7:35 pm. Parasites are all the same. Now, I want to believe him, but in my rightful mind I know I will be so dumb to buy all that he is say. He didnt marry you. the thing is, he has a 4 yr old daughter. Posted on June 29, 2022 in gabriela rose reagan. I doubt the conversation went like: Please have an abortion. She isnt the one you should be taking issue with. It means he or she will know their father, in a sense, and will also have the opportunity to believe that their father just simply didnt want to have anything to do with them. Any 40 year old man thats in the habit of jumping into bed with a woman who claims shes on BC after knowing her for 2 min is so dirty, Id be afraid to touch him much less get back in a relationship with him. I am pro-choice, for both woman and for men. Because she does not have the right to waive support for the child. That child has done nothing wrong and doesnt deserve to be thrown in the middle of these grown-up problems. So tough shit. female April 9, 2012, 12:53 pm, He might very well be an immature asshole. April 10, 2012, 9:06 pm. Just sayin there are options, oral being only one of them. Our resident male troll is back and defending his gender. Theyre young but are certain that theyll be together forever. All that does is make 3 people miserable (both parents plus the child). Im not so sure why he isnt allowed to be angry at her decision to keep the baby. because it is the womans responsibility to take her pill on time, etc if thats the type of birth control shes chosen. Sounds like he found something easy, and easy cost a lot.money and happiness. April 10, 2012, 7:06 pm. Just 10 seconds in the slipstream at 175 mph.. Chuck Pelto The dream is a signal for your quest for power. What the LW needs to do is take a deep breath, wait a long time for this situation to resolve, and then decide what she wants to do. I dont see why this issue is any different. That is a risk women take. Some said he deserved the label because he exposed the LW to STDs. I think this post must have been linked somewhere, hence all the men defenders, out to protect a mans right to have indiscriminate sex without consequences. But if that rape victim gave birth to the child, dropped it on the rapists doorstep and left, its highly probable that the law would pursue her for child support. He didnt want a baby? LW, this guy sounds like a scumbag. my boyfriend & i have been together for over 2 years (2y 5m to be exact) & i found out i was pregnant about a month ago & at the time i must've been maybe about 2-3 weeks pregnant. 4. stop stressing so much.many children are born under worse circumstances the guy and his ex its their problem to solve not yours. Or could CG be right, and this is all a hoax? I think whatever scorn youre heaping onto this woman you should deal evenly to your boyfriend. People surely arent calling him scum for not taking responsibility, because hes apparently going to provide support. If he wore a condom and if she was on the pill, hes an idiot because what? Actually, pulling out has a 4% failure rate versus 2% for condoms for perfect use. Its no excuse but no one will every be able to explain men. I see youre an ignorant homophobe too. His character and judgment are awful. 1. If he didnt want a child he should have better protected himself. Francine Doesnt matter if they took every precaution to design the worlds best bottle. Even SCOTUS pointed that out. Furthermore, why does this child need two parents? When someone else makes a decision that massively affects my life for the worse and disregards my preferences, it makes me angry and frustrated. Plenty of fish in the sea, as they say. I was a completely amicable situation and hes had no issue with this arrangement and its been many years. So, to be clear, every woman who has had an abortion is, in your mind, an immature asshole. My biological clock is so, so ticking!!!. [The most dangerous place on Earth to live is in an American womans womb. and if you arent mature enough to deal with those things (as well as the potential for an unplanned pregnancy) dont have sex. Were also stuck with either A) experiencing an abortion or B) going through a pregnancy. I know you have to keep the possibility in the back of your mind, but youve really been ready and willing for motherhood every time youve decided to sleep with someone? The guy and the woman had sex. Then, when you decided to get back together he wasnt so sure he wanted to be in a relationship with you. But thats a crime?. reader, bright.beautifulK90+, writes (24 November 2010): A Um hello, hes 40 years old, he knows how babies are made. Fine. never again! He has an obligation to use condoms until he is in a committed relationship to prevent unwanted pregnancy and to prevent HIMSELF from contracting an STD (and thus spreading it around). Yes, the woman in question should have been just as involved in making sure she didnt get pregnant as the man. Nor is there any guarantee that the woman who tells you that she doesnt want to have a baby wont change her mind when faced with that decision. I do plan to stay on my birth control because having a period every month doesnt sound like loads of fun after only having 4 a year for so long. Honestly, I did grow up craving a strong male presence in my life and have always gravitated towards male professors or bosses who wee willing to play the role of mentor. At which point, no matter what form the chastisement comes, feminists are going to be looking for REAL men..and not finding them. April 9, 2012, 1:13 pm. . If I ever get pregnant and the dude wants nothing to do with the child, I will not force him. He wont be a deadbeat dad, as some have suggested. . They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, clickHERE! 1970 Mustang Mach I "Synergy Green Pearl"351 Cleveland - Fuel Injection "The Rattle Shaker" Complete nut and bolt rotisserie restoration LESS than 500 miles by C.A.R.S. That is what makes him a douchenozzle. April 9, 2012, 10:04 pm. Wanting nothing to do with his child, which like it or not seems to be coming, is not acceptable- and a mature girlfriend would help him to see that these are the cards hes been dealt, and that he now has to work with them. At this point, she doesnt even know for certain that the woman is pregnant or that its his child. This child will have no father and while I dont feel bad for the parents, I feel very bad for this child. He chose to not wear a condom and now he has to be responsible for his choice. And throwing money at her only covers one part of that. And is this letter for real? Not to mention raising the baby, which women are way way WAAAYYY more likely to do alone than men. They way the *LW* is painting the picture here of how she and her bf are treating the unborn child is unfair to the child and is why people are reacting the way they are. A forty-year-old man knows exactly how women get pregnant and how to avoid that if he absolutely doesnt want a baby. You seem to have completely missed the point that virtually anything we do involves risk, and that doing those things doesnt mean were prepared for any possible consequence at any time. Does that suck for some individuals who didnt want it in the first place? They arent bad people because of it. Again, he has not opted out of the childs life. Welcome to parenthood. I mean, hey, we certainly couldnt be any more careless or reckless with this precious gift than women keep on proving to be, landygirl Because we stayed together, she caused him a lot of . depressed, got back together, money. Sure. They came first. Ok, so this dude: They Didn't "Win". The letter writers bf is furious at the woman having his child. I do believe that many accidental pregnancies are not so accidental, but that is all the more reason for people who engage in casual sex, and are dead set against having kids, to do everything in their power to avoid having them! reader, yelyah77+, writes (16 April 2009): A The fact that only the woman has the abortion option is biology, not anyones opinion. The adoption process has a pretty involved vetting procedure- meaning that birth parents can reasonably assume the child will be cared for by the adoptive parent or parents. We do know that the guy in question didnt use a condom (as you yourself pinted out elsewhere, LW would have def. It's believed to be ineffective because for years people thought there were sperm cells in pre-cum, but that's a myth. Maybe the man in me is coming out today, but in a time where all you hear about is the War on Women and how dare any man tell a woman what they can and cannot do with their bodies that anyone on here can say this man doesnt have a right to do whatever he pleases with his body. He begged me not to go, but I left anyway because I didnt think things would change and I wanted him to see what life was like without me in hopes hed run after me. We have been able to shield the kids from this at this point. You deserve that label for attacking a woman that you dont even know, for trying to blame her for sperm-jacking your loser boyfriend and for suggesting that she is trying to trap him. Even if she was on birth control. If its dude and hes a brain surgeon or something and shes a hot part-time bartender, his child support will be assessed at an amount that will put her in decent rent, a mercedes car payment and plenty left over for nice clothes and dining out, with an occasional weekend getaway thrown in the mix. Third, I weep for that child. P.P.S. He had no more to do with the existence of this child then an architect who only provides half the blueprints has responsibility for the existence of the Pentagon. I kept waiting for someone to say this. In fact, it may not even be anger you feel, but hurt or you feel threatened by this pregnancy. You mean, he should be able to decide whether or not hes emotionally distant and vacant from the life he had equal part in creating? That way you will know things like what you both agree to do if she gets preggers, and how soon you jettison him if he goes and has sex with someone else ad knocks her up. kerrycontrary This is why homosexual couples have to adopt. Does that change the situation as all? However, not once did I say anything like what youre implying. As a woman, I have to take responsibility that any man I have sex with may very well walk away from me never to be heard from again leaving me with a child to raise alone. I have zero sympathy for for any guy crying about how hes stuck paying for a child he doesnt want. Im quite late to the discussion, but I took a lot of time reading over the comments, trying to make sense of the two sides of the argument at hand. This woman is having a baby, not a concept. Anyone would be angry in this situation. If you support legal abortion, then you emphatically deny that men create children. Because once the innocent kid is here, the fact that he/she was an accident does not mean he/she has less of a need for supportive, involved parents. Also, he seems willing to abide by the laws. Really stupid. Its not fair to create more fucked up human beings by being the father a kid never had; by making them think theres something about them that wasnt good enough. Thats the way it has to be. Makes me wonder if youre happily married like I am, or just a bitter divorcee who clings to feminism and man-hating as a knee jerk reaction of having been wronged. If youre going to have sex with someone you are not in a relationship with, be prepared that a *pregnancy* might happen. And at 40 years of age, he should know how babies are made and if he didnt want kids, maybe he should have considered getting snipped? Hes decided on what hes going to do, and it does not involve you. John Rohan Everything else aside, most of the guys in this thread are more upset about the sex part than they are about the child out of wedlock part. 2. Men AND women have walked away from children. After 2 months, I initiated for a comeback. And hopefully people begin to realize that just taking the pill isnt an absolute gurantee that you wont make a baby. Call me crazy, but I dont see any partys reaction to this crazy. He must be a complete scumbag, because no one ever has sex without a condom unless they intend to have children or are scumbags. People in healthy relationships dont say that. Also, if the other woman keeps the baby, this is going to provide significant insight into her boyfriends character that will help her make her decision. But being on the pill is not akin to saying I will choose to have an abortion should a pregnancy occur. If not, then why cant a man sever all legal and fiscal responsibility prior to the childs birth (as it would be a parallel situation)? It doesnt have to toss a ball with you to help with your rehab or take pictures of you with your new arm. Might he have continued sleeping with her? Because when the woman has a baby, she isnt a slave to anything. How on earth do you propose to make any of this even for everybody, including the child? That is not a legally binding document and is unenforceable. But you have to take a deep breath and be an adult about it, seriously.