funny responses to what are you doing this weekend funny responses to what are you doing this weekend

Figuring out how my plans fit together is my problem, not anyone elses. Ive had trouble with that one, too. So, when I do this I really am trying to get a feel for whether a busy people-pleaser like my Sis actually has time to do something on Saturday, rather than outright asking from the start and leading to her twisting herself into a pretzel trying to free up that specific block of time for me because she doesnt want to say no, Reading the LWs feelings about this situation and the comments, I can totally understand why someone would hate being asked in this way and why it might make it harder for some people to refuse something they dont want to do after theyve said theyre free, but Im still not quite sure what the solution is when dealing with someone who usually *does* seem to treat invitations as subpoenas. I also get your daughter refusing to comply with requests that arent made with at least normal adult civility it was not even a request, in fact, but an order. By mentioning the weekend, it ' s a great segue to ask them what they ' re doing. I usually reply with Nothing, in which Nothing means knitting, crocheting or basket weaving and listening to audio books. #1078: Sooooooowhat are you doing thisweekend?, Follow CaptainAwkward.com on WordPress.com. Btw, the annoyed reaction at go to the airport and the misunderstanding re: grandma could be exactly because she is used to you making decisions for her and expecting her to follow through. Your parent or in-law will not die if they cant railroad your schedule. A little of this, a little of that. Its not so much about stopping the question before it comes (pretty much impossible!) Its funny I dont even register the question How are you? (Ive lived equal times on the West and East coasts of the US), but I see a couple of UK commenters upthread and when I lived there I never, ever got used to You alright? which, functionally, isnt that different. See, shes trying to force you to perform niceness and capitulate because its hard to think of a way to get rid of her that wont make you look like a bitch not performing socially-mandatory niceness. Tell me more! Of course I would never do this it would be returning the aggression but its a real puzzle to me. And sometimes its due to the other person not grasping the soft no/non-answer to drop the conversation (generally people I am not already friends with, like the one bank teller who keeps on asking* and that I do find nosy/irritating). (Right Now): What are you doing sometimes means at the very present in which activity are you involved in? Am I supposed to answer? Vagueing it up works for me. 04 Mar 2023 17:27:26 For those who are ready to stand out from the crowd, we've gathered ten hilarious out of office messages that will inspire you to raise the bar the next time you sit down to write an autoresponder. That question from certain people stresses me too! There are a couple of questions my Mother asks that trigger a Pavlovian eye-roll from me because I know they are invariably followed by a request for a favor, to the point where if someone else asks me the same question in a totally innocuous way, I still react to it. Invitations are not commands. Now when he asks I say party like a rock star. Be polite. And then if its something I dont want to do BUT its a person I dont want to discourage, I can say, That sounds like youll have fun! Need some help actually. It doesnt actually mean how are you? in the same way that goodbye does not actually mean God be with you. What it means is, I acknowledge you, fellow human being. In some ways, its helpful to think of it not as a phrase but as a pair of words: how-are-you, fine-thanks-and-you. 3. I hate it when people tell me whats best for me (more plans! For grocery store cashiers, I keep the answer short: Wet, on a rainy day, or Need more coffee this one particularly for coffee shop baristas, who probably hear it too often. When exercising the advantages of a perceived difference in class or power, however, refraining from using or responding how are you? is an old patrician tactic designed to keep the interlocutor in her place. Me: yes! or no, sorry. My husbands family is large and I generally love them, but sometimes I just do not want to eat little smokies and chips with 40 other people in a loud house with tons of screaming children. And then if Im busy (in truth or not), I can say, Oh sorry. Were having a party. Do you like, like me? May suggest reversing the order of operations? LW, if it makes you feel any better, when many people ask this question, they arent doing it to trap you into something (though some are, of course). But its all about context, and thats not the context the LW is talking about. Im also self employed and use a similar excuse. And making things even harder, so much of this is tonea chipper Why do you ask? to the above question is a soft deferral, whereas a flat Why do you ask may be offputting in a way that leverages a cost. E- Engage in the fun. (I am also not her only parent, so I dont get to act unilaterally. And then coming up with all kinds of bizarre but obvious lies about how they reason theyre acting that way is solely for *my* benefit. Notice how it starts off with a light compliment. One of my long-time boundaries is I wont date a guy who cant properly carry out an invitation and follow it through. Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Him: What are your plans for the weekend? I really wish I had some better scripts to deal with this stuff how do I limit our contact with her to a level where the kids and I are still happy to see her, without pissing her off? But of course Im going to judge her reason for refusing. I disagree concerning the Where are you from? part. Its only a trap when the same people use it repeatedly to rope you in to doing something you would otherwise be able to avoid gracefully. For people I know, the answer is closer to what you say is the norm in Sweden anything from Having a truly awesome day to Need more coffee to counteract the baby waking up an hour before the alarm. For close friends, I can and have answered with details about what the brain weasels are up to today. Any request for someones time, regardless of the setting of the fun variable in your mind. Always always have a plan I forgot about until next day. For example, while my wife and I are paying with a credit card after having Saturday morning breakfast, and while the receipt is printing out, the cashier will say, So, you guys got any good plans for the weekend?. And then I would walk away thinking that was a really awkward conversation and wonder if that person didnt like me or was fishing for an invitation to something or what. Am I Really? Helen Huntingdon, I dont want you to think Ive dismissed all your argumentsyouve certainly given me pause and gotten me to think about what my expectations are. How am I right now? Me: .No. Ive got a couple things going, do you have any plans? A lot of the people old enough to have adult children at this point still put phone communication on some kind of pinnacle in their minds, because thats what they grew up with. Which is odd, because if anyone has an aura of genius around them, she does. 8. but I agreeparents of adult children (Hell, parents of NOT adult children) need to be more respectful of their childrens time and energy. I automatically ask this without thinking about it pretty often. Also, again in the UK, if the person is literally asking, the emphasis will be strongly on are. its differential equations, 2. You know the parent is deliberately being controlling if that wont work for me gets any variation on, BUT WHYYYYYYYYYYY.. I get that. That doesnt make it okay. The first time I heard this, I wondered who opened my brain while I was sleeping and pulled the song out and put it in a movie soundtrack. Thank you! In my case this is always 100% true because unless I literally have my calendar open in front of me I do not know what I am doing at literally any time on any day. How odd to be on both sides of this! Just looking for my phonehave you seen it? When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. You are doing things and going places. Id like to get you to take out the trash.), There *is* a certain amount of call on her time that I -do- feel entitled to (she lives in my home, not hers; shes a member of my family). My parents and my in-laws have requests that my husband and I dont feel we can refuse. If it doesnt work with my schedule, I will tell you. Also, I dont expect that the LW is bothered by every person who casually asks this question; Im sure they can tell when someone is just making chit chat vs someone who is interested in spending time together. If I catch myself, before they respond lll clarify what my actual invitation is. ooh. I dont use it myself because I dont like the way it comes across. (And if you are Susie, forget about it!). There is literally a meme that says When you ask me what Im doing today and I say Nothing, it does not mean Im free. Three-day weekends would be perfect if they were just four days longer. Obviously Im talking here about people Im friendly with, not friend-friends, but I cant imagine having got to the stage of being friends with someone who was inclined to rebuff me expressing interest in their life. Thats not cool.. I want collaborators, not pupils. I have some friends who are really passive about planning things and it drives me insane I have started actively responding what did you have in mind? and batting back all their attempts to make me plan the night. I had a hard time staying employed and taking care of myself because I have a chronic illness, and the alternative to living with my parents would be to figure out how to apply for section 8 housing and Disability, both of which have a long wait list. Then you can do x with/for me! just blatantly assuming that if you are free, then you will obviously want to do this thing. But Im willing to bet that LW knows that, and the reason he/she feels annoyed with the people asking it in his/her life are because theres a pattern and something bigger at work like maybe people trying to get him/her to do stuff, or, as he/she noted, people who want to hang out, but with him/her doing all the planning work. For an acquaintance, depends. Im self employed so I can realistically be working at any time and date. And she might feel hurt that Id rather do nothing than do something with her. 1 Keeping It Real I am currently out of the office on vacation. If she has problems with overbearing family, then she needs to learn how to deal with overbearing family, but shes still gonna have to function at People Interactions 101, which includes whatre you doing this weekend., Its actually amazing how much supposedly required stuff you can avoid doing by just not doing it (sadly depending on your level of privilege; Im speaking from a white cis-woman perspective).